Four kids receive bootleg copies of the new SimCity and they subsequently use them to destroy the planet. They come into contact with an alien race of trolls who are modeled after the Zodiac and have a hierarchy based on blood color. They all type like FUCKASSES. They play the game some more and end up creating an all-powerful creature that is bent on killing everybody. He pretty much does. Even the mayor of Can Town. The postlady gets really upset about this and puts on Sauron’s ring. Stuff happens. In order to save everything, the kids and their alien pals destroy and restart the universe. Then it gets weird.
Absolutely everything will be vastly important at some point, but it won’t be explained until about 5,000 pages after it’s introduced.
Who’s the ship that we adore? John and Dave forevermore.